FOUR YEARS AFTER GIVING UP SHOPPING!

It has been quite a while since I was here...writing and sharing about NOT SHOPPING!

I just read through some of my posts, and I am so grateful I gave up shopping because of all the experiences I could afford!

I AM NO LONGER A SHOPAHOLIC!   As a matter of fact, I hate shopping now.  Yesterday, I had to go to plaza I knew would be crazy busy due to the Christmas season.  I could not deal with the cars, the people, the people, the cars!  GET ME OUT OF HERE!  And I was only there to get my husband's favorite take out meal... chicken parm and garlic knots....

Yes... MK and I still have a very close relationship, but we do not see each other every weekend or even every month.  Now, we savor our relationship with two or three get to togethers a year .... when we enjoy the time...carefully...and not frantically...   I now get a kick out of picking up my dry cleaning.... mama does NOT  do wash or iron.... and ooo and aww at the clothes I already own!  Ironically, in 2013 and 2014, I donated over $3000 to the Salvation Army, which did not include 14 pairs of shoes and 9 MK and Coach handbags.  Yup. Clutter.

So what are the benefits over these two years?  Two Caribbean cruises, weeks at the ocean, trips to NYC, and two 15 day trips to Italy with my husband!  All paid for ... with cash... because I quit shopping every week.  My closet is still full.  My outfits are still complimented.  But my bank account is now.... well.... doing better than I thought!  I paid for a kitchen renovation...CASH. And, of course, I paid cash for Finnegan Daly... our newest King Charles Cavalier!

We have another cruise coming up and another 17 trip to Italy planned and cash ready to pay for when we arrive. HINT - THE EURO CHANGES SO MUCH...DO NOT PRE PAY FOR HOTELS, CARS, EXTRAS.

Santa Ted asked for my Wish list.  I told him I do not want anything, but time with him - something we don't often get to have with our jobs.  Okay... I did ask for a case of my favorite wine.

  Life is too short to collect items that will only piss off the person who is the executor of our will - but our memories of all our trips, outings, events...well, we were just marveling about the sunset we experienced in San Rocco, Italy  as we sat outside a grotto that was turned into a bar on a hiking trail overlooking the Ligure .. and this memory led to the funcular we took to a church above Rapallo...which led to Como, Bergamo, Montecatini, and of course, my bucket list The Bernini Express to St. Moritz. And that is just three days of one trip.  Italy... is my love... sorry, MK... yes, you, MK will always be with me in many ways...

TIPS TO STOP MINDLESS SHOPPING

I can not say that I am not shopping at all, but I can say the impulse to go shopping is shot down immediately.  Now a dear and close friend is crying out for help to end her mindless shopping ways, claiming she is out of control. Actually, that is not true - she is claiming IT is out of control;  and there lies the problem.

Shopping is not the problem, her actions are the problem.  I suggested that she go to the gym when she needs that break from the doldrum of every day life. So, today I am offering tips on ENDING THE HABIT that worked for me.  I place it on me since I know my personality and what I value.  HERE I GO!

1. Be HONEST with yourself.  Sit with the stuff you purchased. I mean ALL THE STUFF!  Ask yourself, "Why do I need this?"  I was surprised that the simple replacement of the word NEED from WANT made me really be honest with my own habits.  Note:  honesty - I am a very honest person - to much of the world's dislike!

2.  I felt that I DESERVED SOMETHING for the simple fact my job demands I focus on others, and then  I come home at take care of a house, two dogs, and a husband.  So I made a list of what I really desired in life. None of the STUFF WAS ON THE LIST.  By not mindlessly shopping, I could have want I desired.

3. BOREDOM - I realized that my shopping, which I always included in a weekly TO DO LIST, was out of BOREDOM.  This goes hand-in-hand with number two.  It was a break from the grading, cleaning, decorating, and even cooking, which I do love.  I had to understand that BOREDOM IS A STATE OF MIND, not a condition.  The HUNT for that perfect SOMETHING was a hunt to break the daily routine for a awhile.  In otherwords, I wanted a break from reality.  But in reality, I just needed to bring more peace and tranquility to my hectic schedule.  So I rediscovered reading, walking, hiking, and writing.

4. OWN THE ACTION... because the only ONE WHO CAN CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS.... IS YOU! This by far, is vital.  Once I owned my shopping addiction, I was the one to control it.  I could not rely on others to talk into or out of shopping. 

5. VALUE THE MONEY YOU BRING HOME.  For the most part, I am very good at saving and not over spending.  But that allowed me to then MINDLESSLY SPEND ON ME. No joke, I would finish my Christmas shopping October and purchased thousands for me along the way!  It truly was sick.  Now, I will tell you, once again, it was the I DESERVE IT SYNDROME.... but only because people who bought me gifts rarely bought me what I like or wanted.  So, I rationalized that I do deserve WHAT I WANT... since I am getting them gifts that fit their needs.  Wow... that selfish diva voice really influenced me!

6. TIME IS VALUABLE.  The amount of time I spent driving, hunting, driving, and more hunting only to return most of it.... really added up.  I calculated that I spent six hours a week of mindless shopping, which I could have spent doing something else that was going to enhance my life.

7. SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD.  I began this blog as a crutch.... to make sure I was honest in my attempt.  Just like all addictions, I needed support.... even if no one posted or shared, I had it out there.

8. SET A REASONABLE GOAL.  For me, a school is a time period that worked - ten months - since my life is so busy.  I have a ton of papers, meetings, deadlines that interfere with my life - lol.  By setting that timeline, it eased the hectic schedule.  If month is good for you, then a month it is.  But you need to record it.  What did you do instead of shopping?  What emotions were you feeling when you ignored the VOICE?  How much extra time did you have?  How much money did you save?  To answer the last one, record the cost of each item you wanted to buy - THIS IS EYE OPENING!

FINALLY, in seventeen months, I have bought clothes and two purses.  I bought 3 pair of Michael Kors skinny pants, two Michael Kors bags, a Coach wallet, a pair of JCrew child's 14 corduroys, two sweaters, a pair  MK of boots, three shirts and underwear.  Yep, that is a lot!  The pants were on sale for $29, the wallet was $54, the shirts were all under $20 - one was $6.99.  The purses were each $150. I already did the list - and I am done for the year!  I needed the pants, YES, NEEDED... I lost ten pounds and I have only put three pounds back on in that seventeen months time period and was tired of pinning my clothes on my own body.

My husband and I are going to Italy for fourteen days this summer and it is all paid for - cash.  We are taking a cruise in April - yup, paid for.  I am seeing four Broadway shows - paid.  This is what I love to do, and now I can without guilt.  Eventually, I am gettng new floors in our kitchen area.  We are waiting... the wood flooring, paid, but the tile I have not decided which one is best.  Our little guy is old and sick... so we are waiting. 

What is your story? 

THE END IS IN SIGHT!

WOW!  I DID IT!

On June 23, 2012, I went ten months without any personal shopping! Six days to the end!  I knew I could do it, but I can't believe that I did not miss shopping.

I did use two Michael Kors gift cards and still have two left that total $200.  I have a DSW gift card for $250.

Looking back at this experience taught me that boredom is a state of mind and shopping filled that void.  I learned to value the money I make, not just spend it because I can.  I purchased appliances for the house and a much needed new chair.  I paid cash for a cruise, a trip to Italy, a trip to South Carolina, a vacation at Chautauqua Institution, an unexpected really expensive vet bill, four Broadway plays, two weekends in NYC, and finally, for Father's Day, I put $1,000 into Ted's personal checking account. I read seven books and painted two rooms.  I walked the dogs more than I have in the past.  Ted and I spent days together not just nights.  I did not clean more - I will leave that to Ted.

I had planned to purchase a new car this Spring, but since SAAB went out of business, I found it difficult to get rid of a great car.  Then I saw the value piling up of not incurring debt from a car loan.  I decided to drive this car into the ground.

I realized early into this experience that I simply hate doing wash and ironing.  I prefer to wear new.  Wow, that is stupid!  Dah.... dry clean everything!  I began shopping through my dry cleaning and discovering a whole "newly discovered" wardrobe.  I found clothes and shoes I forgot I had;  sorry Cole Haan and Adrienne.

I have a few items to buy for Italy.  I was at Target getting Riley Wilson's meds and killed some time.  Two skirts and three shirts.  Thanks to Jessica and Alexis, I did get some new-to-you items! Again, the old me would be buyng all knew.  But I found that I have most of what I need for the trip.

My total savings, minus all the items listed above is $4, 790.  Note - if Riley had not needed surgery, we would not have found his heart condition until a much later date so that 1,300 was worth it.  And the thousand to Ted is just love.

So now my goal is to come close to two thousand views.  Come on, revisit if you have to!  Six days!  woot!

The first item I will purchase????  UNDERWEAR AND THEN A NEW WALLET.  Word to the wise - never buy a pastel Coach wallet that is not leather.  Every time I pull that damn wallet out I am embarrassed at how dirty it looks.

For all your support, I thank you!  And HAPPY SHOPPING!

KORSLAND! 6,655 FT OF MK!

http://nymag.com/shopping/openings/michael-kors-2012-6/


With less than a month to go - 20 days to be exact - MK has created Korsland!  Floors of purses, clothes, and sunglasses!  Just in time for a little Italy shopping!  I am so excited!  Well, this calls for another lip-smacking pucker up big guy - I mean building - kiss! http://nymag.com/shopping/openings/michael-kors-2012-6/

I am actually shocked I quit shopping for a year.  Probably more shocked than my colleagues and friends.  Equally shocking is I quit smoking five weeks ago... no shopping and no smoking... and no melt down.

I know MK did this expansion to celebrate my success!  So, on June 23rd, I will drive to Chautauqua Institution for a week of family fun... oh yeah, and stalk some AUTHORS!  BUT.... July 1st, I will head on down to MK - and Landbrot biergarten - to celebrate!  The only item I plan to buy - a new wallet;  I so cannot stand the hideous baby blue Coach wallet I have right now.  Oh yeah, I will definitely pick up some underwear that Ted never bought me for Christmas - lol!

CAN I HAVE THAT?!

since I have only two more months to go for a Year of No Personal Shopping - as in school year - I decided to simply ask people if I can have the clothes they are wearing.

First, I told Alexis C. that I really loved her shirt.  She was all smiles since she really does have great taste.  Then I proceeded with "I want that."  she laughed - she always enjoys my warped humor.  Then I demanded, "No, you really have to give me that shirt."  " I think it is a large" in which I replied, "I don't care about size."  Laughing, Alexis found the site to only find an extra small.  Sweat, I thought.... now she has to give me that shirt.  The bell rang and no shirt was left. Bummer.

The next day during lunch we were all talking about the usual - everything has no significance- when I honed in on Addie's sweater - Orange, blood orange!  I aptly interrupted her conversation and said, "I like your sweater.  Can I have it?"  She laughed.  Actually, looking back, she pulled it a bit closer to her body.... hmmm... did Alexis tell her my new no shopping strategy? Shoot!  Rachel just looked at me like I was mad - that is another blog, Rach!

The following day, Alexis came in with some real convo material in which I interrupted her mid sentence and delcared I wanted her dress.  Chelle looked at me with the Chelle look - eyes bigger than her entire body - and then I waited... Alexis agreed I could have her dress!  Actually, i one long word she said"YESYOUCANHAVETHISDRESSIWILLWASHITANDGIVEITTOYOU!"  hmm.. was that just to shut me up and stop me from begging for her clothes so she could tell chelle what she wanted to say?  Time will tell.

I think it is getting around.  Jess gave me two pair of shoes - unfortunately, only one pair fit, but I love them.  I have not spoken to Jess in a few days.... hmmm.... Even my students are running back to my room to grab a forgottn sweater or coat.

For those who think I would take the clothes of my friends' back, it is not cheating nor is it real... I just really liked their clothes and it never hurts to ask!

By the way, when in high school, a friend gave me back all my clothes she had borrowed for my birthday present!  The best part was that I did not realize it until the last shirt was unwrapped - I actually liked that one! 

CRUISING - WITH TWO MONTHS TO GO!

I actually stopped shopping on August 22, 2012;  so like me to be early! 

A Journalism student asked me if I bought anything on the cruise.  NO.  Did your husband buy you anything. NO... well a few drinks, lol, I thought and did not share!  So, you did not buy a single thing on the cruise?  NO. Not a gift for someone? NO. No jewelry?  NO. Wow, she finally exclaimed, after exhausting her training to get the story.

Until this year, every time I ventured on a vacation, I ventured first on a shopping spree! Years ago,  I actually spent so much time in the newly built Target in Alexandria, Virginia, that security was watching me!  I guess they could not believe someone would want to spend four hours there - oh yeah... and actually buy everything in the cart!  So, no, I did not buy a single thing for the cruise or on the cruise.  I actually had six bathing suits, two I did not even realize I owned! I did not need any cute little summer dresses or TB flip flops.

I began packing for the cruise Wednesday night.  I did my usual - throw everything I think I want to take into the suitcase so that the next night I can begin to eliminate items. That seems to work for me;  that and a long list of items TO BE CHECKED OFF. The following night after I finished grading essays, I sat myself down in the middle of bedroom-turned- closet and "unpacked" each item to evaluate its purpose on this cruise.  It is interesting that this is my usual plan of attack, but this time, I realized I really did not need a shopping spree at all.  I actually have more than enough - of everything.  I only took three bathing suits, not six.  I brought only three pants, not five.  I packed eight shirts, not sixteen.  I packed four pair of shorts, not sixteen. 

With only two months to go, this has been cathartic - I still have not worn all my clothes!  I see the worth of my money now. 

FOUR SHORT MONTHS TO GO!

It has been exactly seven months since I quit buying for me.  Quite honestly, I was not sure I would succeed.  But I knew that the impulsive buying and tons of clothes I gave away each year were a signal to stop.  I even had a Dollar yard Sale and sold COACH BAGS FOR A BUCK just to get rid of them!

I have not used a single gift card I have received this year - not one.  I have four to Michael Kors - thanks to my Fashionista friends, a hefty gift card to DSW - as if... I would not run to use it - NOT. Not the Coach gift certificate, not the Nail and Spa gift certificate...none are used.  

I have learned that I am BURNING ALL MY CLOTHES JUNE 26TH.  I am so tired of thinking what to wear.  I have yet to wear  all the clothes I own this year or sink into all my shoes.  K - so I may not burn all of them, but I know that there is certain item or two I like and feel comfortable in and those I will keep.

My students are aware that I am doing this blog.  I teach Journalism and expect them to maintain a blog.  The girls are shocked;  some even mention MK clothes that I have!  The boys are baffled.  First, why would I give up what I love?  Secondly, why would I care what I wore?  I guess both questions deserve deep contemplation.

This love of shopping will hinder my life in retirement when life continues, not ends.  I teach, but I am a woman, a sister, a wife, a friend, a writer, a baker. I will have a great life when I retire that will not require me to correct papers.

As for why I care, I don't.  I do not care what others think or say about my outfits.  I simply hate to do laundry, thus, dry cleaning is my thang.  I hate to wear clothes twice, with is so illogical since I buy classic pieces versus fads.  I simply liked to wear new.  This year I learned that it was just something to do, not something I had to do.  

The most impressive aspect of this blog is that others have cut back on their shopping, some have even started blogging.  It is not "imitation is highest a sign of flattery" -no, it is one person on a journey who touched others along the way. Not many people can say they did this. 

I do miss the Woodbury Commons, but I do not miss the crowds.  I do miss getting what I want when I want it, but I do not miss the buyers' remorse I sometimes felt.  I do miss new, but I love I have purchased new appliances and paid for two major vacations with cash and still have a hefty savings account.  umm... Ted likes that, too.  

In case you are wondering, I am saving all the gift certificates for my Italy vacation, my Chautauqua vacation, and do not forget... my Cruise and Las Vegas vacations!  HAPPY SHOPPING EVERYONE! lol