TIPS TO STOP MINDLESS SHOPPING

I can not say that I am not shopping at all, but I can say the impulse to go shopping is shot down immediately.  Now a dear and close friend is crying out for help to end her mindless shopping ways, claiming she is out of control. Actually, that is not true - she is claiming IT is out of control;  and there lies the problem.

Shopping is not the problem, her actions are the problem.  I suggested that she go to the gym when she needs that break from the doldrum of every day life. So, today I am offering tips on ENDING THE HABIT that worked for me.  I place it on me since I know my personality and what I value.  HERE I GO!

1. Be HONEST with yourself.  Sit with the stuff you purchased. I mean ALL THE STUFF!  Ask yourself, "Why do I need this?"  I was surprised that the simple replacement of the word NEED from WANT made me really be honest with my own habits.  Note:  honesty - I am a very honest person - to much of the world's dislike!

2.  I felt that I DESERVED SOMETHING for the simple fact my job demands I focus on others, and then  I come home at take care of a house, two dogs, and a husband.  So I made a list of what I really desired in life. None of the STUFF WAS ON THE LIST.  By not mindlessly shopping, I could have want I desired.

3. BOREDOM - I realized that my shopping, which I always included in a weekly TO DO LIST, was out of BOREDOM.  This goes hand-in-hand with number two.  It was a break from the grading, cleaning, decorating, and even cooking, which I do love.  I had to understand that BOREDOM IS A STATE OF MIND, not a condition.  The HUNT for that perfect SOMETHING was a hunt to break the daily routine for a awhile.  In otherwords, I wanted a break from reality.  But in reality, I just needed to bring more peace and tranquility to my hectic schedule.  So I rediscovered reading, walking, hiking, and writing.

4. OWN THE ACTION... because the only ONE WHO CAN CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS.... IS YOU! This by far, is vital.  Once I owned my shopping addiction, I was the one to control it.  I could not rely on others to talk into or out of shopping. 

5. VALUE THE MONEY YOU BRING HOME.  For the most part, I am very good at saving and not over spending.  But that allowed me to then MINDLESSLY SPEND ON ME. No joke, I would finish my Christmas shopping October and purchased thousands for me along the way!  It truly was sick.  Now, I will tell you, once again, it was the I DESERVE IT SYNDROME.... but only because people who bought me gifts rarely bought me what I like or wanted.  So, I rationalized that I do deserve WHAT I WANT... since I am getting them gifts that fit their needs.  Wow... that selfish diva voice really influenced me!

6. TIME IS VALUABLE.  The amount of time I spent driving, hunting, driving, and more hunting only to return most of it.... really added up.  I calculated that I spent six hours a week of mindless shopping, which I could have spent doing something else that was going to enhance my life.

7. SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD.  I began this blog as a crutch.... to make sure I was honest in my attempt.  Just like all addictions, I needed support.... even if no one posted or shared, I had it out there.

8. SET A REASONABLE GOAL.  For me, a school is a time period that worked - ten months - since my life is so busy.  I have a ton of papers, meetings, deadlines that interfere with my life - lol.  By setting that timeline, it eased the hectic schedule.  If month is good for you, then a month it is.  But you need to record it.  What did you do instead of shopping?  What emotions were you feeling when you ignored the VOICE?  How much extra time did you have?  How much money did you save?  To answer the last one, record the cost of each item you wanted to buy - THIS IS EYE OPENING!

FINALLY, in seventeen months, I have bought clothes and two purses.  I bought 3 pair of Michael Kors skinny pants, two Michael Kors bags, a Coach wallet, a pair of JCrew child's 14 corduroys, two sweaters, a pair  MK of boots, three shirts and underwear.  Yep, that is a lot!  The pants were on sale for $29, the wallet was $54, the shirts were all under $20 - one was $6.99.  The purses were each $150. I already did the list - and I am done for the year!  I needed the pants, YES, NEEDED... I lost ten pounds and I have only put three pounds back on in that seventeen months time period and was tired of pinning my clothes on my own body.

My husband and I are going to Italy for fourteen days this summer and it is all paid for - cash.  We are taking a cruise in April - yup, paid for.  I am seeing four Broadway shows - paid.  This is what I love to do, and now I can without guilt.  Eventually, I am gettng new floors in our kitchen area.  We are waiting... the wood flooring, paid, but the tile I have not decided which one is best.  Our little guy is old and sick... so we are waiting. 

What is your story?